Depth

2 Aug

In a moment of peace, I watch over the water as the ripples carry themselves into the distance. Slowly but surely, they make their way until the momentum gives way and they fade into the water again. For me this is my searching, my moment of serenity, the calm before the storm. Every so often I find myself in this place, where time has no power, every moment slows down and my thoughts are free to sift through the beauty that is all around me.

Where has depth gone? A longing fills my soul, to know truth, to grow deeper. I have come to understand that everything is connected. Today I see how much our world is influenced by pain, by loss, and chaos.  I’ve seen people slip between the cracks, lost into a world where defeat awaits them.  I’ve watched people grow, learn from their mistakes, and choose to live a life that reflects positive change. At the end of the day, no matter what excuses come, it is a choice.

Some days I feel helpless, like I am not able to make a difference, too caught up in the surface of this world, I fail to go deeper. Listening to societies ideas’ of what can and cannot be accomplished. No one can succeed where society demands; no one can live up to the expectations of an ever changing opinion.  I have been taught to love people, love life, and embrace change as an opportunity to grow. Words cannot begin to describe the gratitude I have for what people have taught me through my life. Some people hurt me, some people encouraged me, but either way I have made the decision to learn from those encounters and become a better me than I was yesterday.

I want to go deeper, to learn more, and to continuously be able to grow. Where waters may rise, and fall, I know that my feet will be firmly planted on a solid and unchanging foundation. This moment of calm before the storm, I will inhale the gratitude that I feel for the gifts that life has brought me, and exhale the idea that I am not capable to conquer the storm. People are made to adapt, to with stand extreme challenges and to persevere. We were not created for failure, we were created for victory.

I know who I am today, I know where I came from, and I know that my dreams can be my reality. I want to be on the front line, whatever that looks like – I want to make a difference, to inspire a world that is so focused on the surface. Enough with standing on the shore, it’s time to go deeper.

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Make Me Right

3 Jul

Standing in the abyss of your broken promises, I have held on to the idea that you would return to me. But I see today that it was never meant to be. The time has come for you to leave this part of the world in search for a new adventure and another heart to encounter on a road
I see that the power of a kiss can be broken by the truth of the heart.
I was never meant to love the heart you hold, I was never made to fix the broken parts of your soul,
I am powerless
I am distant
I am not made to make you right
A relationship built by two lost hearts is a recipe for entangled chaos
You are powerless,
You are distant
You are not made to make me right
The world goes around believing that Love can fix the broken pieces of a life
but do they know who true love comes from?
do they know the one who created it?
Honey, You look at me and ask for Freedom,
You look at me an beg for mercy
You look away from the pieces you lost and ask for forgiveness
But I am not the one to hold your heart,
I am not the one to fix your hurt
I am powerless
I am Distant
I am not made to make you right
The world goes around believing that relationship can make you whole
but do they know who true love comes from?
do they know the one who created it?
I’ve met the man of my dreams, He’s always been with me
Before I saw Him, I was a slave to your lust
But now that I know Him, I have tasted true love
Standing in the abyss of your broken promises, I hold the hand of a man that will never fail this heart of mine.
I am free to love
I am free to be known
I am free to be made right
The pieces I have lost, where not mine to hold
I was never made to fit the worlds mold
You wont understand, til you choose to believe
until you do, you will never be free
but that is not my destiny
He is powerful
He is close
He is made to make me right
The only one that makes me shine ever so bright

No Regrets

10 Dec

Living Life Simple. Seems Complicated. Or at least that’s how I tend to make it. Complicated.

I know that my past is full of stitches making up the pattern of this life that I have been given.. It is filled with wrong choices, with broken relationships, hurt feelings, and chances left behind, embedded on the wings of time, are the final words spoken to those I have lost, words I sometimes wish I could edit.

But the reality is that I cannot go back in time, and even if I could, I don’t think I would.

The chances I failed to take, the experiences I ran from, and the ones I ran into head first, have been the building blocks of my life. I know that I am not perfect, and I do not wish to be. I have hurt people, just as people have hurt me. Of course that doesn’t justify or make it right to hurt people. But I can choose to grow from those experiences.

I understand now, that though there are many decision I made in the past, that I once wished I could re-direct. Today I am comfortable and confident with who I am, and where I have come to be.

So no, I do not have any regrets.

Because I am exactly where I am meant to be,

I am ready and willing to learn.

I am eager to gain perspective,

and I am open to idea that in many area’s of life I have been Wrong, and I will be again.

But I also know, that I have the ability to take the positive out of the situations I am faced with, I am capable of picking up on the colors of the world, instead of the dark spaces. Its up to me, how I wish to live my life.

And at the end of the Day – I want to be comfortable knowing that I did something to be apart of the Solution.

Life is Worth so much more than the Regrets people cling too.

We make mistakes, We miss the shooting star, and we aim too low, when we should be looking higher.

Life is too Short to regret the past – be filled with the reality that all we have is the moment we are in! and Embrace the beauty that unfolds from it.

No Regrets – No Complications.

Live Life Simple

Time wont Heal your Wounds

20 Nov

I find that one of the most common ways that people attempt to comfort those in pain – is that “Time will heal all wounds”

I don’t believe it.  Maybe because I have tried it.

It has been my experience, when I have been hurt by people, or situations around me, or even my own decisions, if I cling on to the fact that “time” will heal me, then I am simply digging a hole within myself, burying the problem and expecting something good to blossom. If I am not willing to change my mind set around it, deal with it, and accept it for what it is… or was, then I cant expect anything good to come from it.

I guess the idea I am basing this off of is:

Faith without Works is DEAD

If I am not willing to put the work in, to go through the motions to accept help, and work towards healing. Then somewhere down the road the problem is going to bubble up from the grave I built it, and I am most likely going to take it out on someone like: You?

RAWR!!

I feel like Society has built up a community that is believing the lie: that to ask or seek out help, is WEAKNESS

But in all reality, as I have stated in previous posts: People are built for Community.

We were designed to be of help, and to receive help.

Today I am okay with asking questions, with seeking advise, asking for counsel, and doing the work it takes to become a better human being in this warped society. 

I have come to believe that STRENGTH – is the ability to seek and accept Help.

YWAM – Belize

13 Nov

I am about to embark on a New Journey!!

I will be apart of Youth With A Mission based in Belize!!! Taking part in four months of Lectures, and preparing to be apart of a Team traveling  for Outreach work either in Central America or Internationally. (to be determined by the team)

My Hearts Desire with this, is to gain a better understanding of how I can “Be the Change I wish to see in the World”(Ghandi)

And ultimately I would like to work with an Organization that works to Abolish Human Trafficking. Hopefully I will be able to do an Internship with an Organization like that once I have completed the Outreach Phase. God only Knows!!

Please support me by visiting my Travel Blog:

Finding Freedom http://melaniemarina.wordpress.com

Thank You!

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For More Information on YWAM:

YWAM

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Seek to Find

7 Nov

My Desire is to encounter people who understand the suffering of life, people who have seen the raw defeat of the world, and chosen to rise above it, and embrace the beauty that comes from being led to freedom by working towards the solution.

I love the refreshing feel of raw truth in someones Story, to hear their battle, their struggle, and how they chose to rise above the ashes when defeat was staring them in the face, and in that moment of weakness, true strength took form. The honesty that comes from hearing real life stories, is attractive; for people to welcome others into their story and to lift each other up, instead of tearing each other down. I used to be apart of the world where, it was every (wo)man for him (her) self. People would talk about how they had each others back, but when things got tough, you found your self standing alone. The suffering of the world, is basically self inflicted. People are built for community, to work together and create life in all that they do. Yet, so many people get sucked into the idea that they need to step on everyone in their way to get where they want to go. Success is NOT built upon the backs of your fellows, its brought up in the foundations of your core being. Whats your motive

I used to be cold to the idea of God, I built up a huge resentment towards the Church because of a few peoples actions. I find it funny how, when I changed my perspective, and cut off all my expectations, God was the one to picked me up when everyone had abandond me, and the Church was the one who came up beside me to encourage me, and uplift me, and share with me the Love of Jesus. I spent so many years running from God and running from the People of the Church because a few Christians in my youth had caused me pain. Today I am reminded that though people may call themselves Christians, that doesnt give me right or reason to place societies expectations on them, we all make mistakes. And at the end of the day, my past experiences with those that hurt me, inspires me to be different than they were, it encourages me to look to God, not Man.

I have been able to gain a new perspective with life, that everyone has a Story worth hearing, a life worth sharing, and each one of the stories are entitled to be embraced with the arms of acceptance. I love being welcomed to listen to the stories of people that walk this world with me, because each one is so different, yet foundationally the same. We all desire to be part of community, we all desire to be accepted, and loved. What I am seeking to find today, is the Truth in Relationship with people, I seek Honesty, I seek Raw experience, and I seek Real Life. Where ever my Journey in this world  takes me, I am eager to be able to hear the stories of the people that have walked before me, those who come after me, and the ones that walk with me.

Whatever Your Story – It is Worth it.

Humble Pie, For the New Guy

26 Jul

Today, I encountered a man I did not understand. He wore rags, that were tattered and stained from years beyond their intended materialistic value. With a combination of foreign odors ringing from his clothes, I felt uncomfortable. He began to talk to him self out loud, and then proceeded to cut off people in their conversations. Speaking his words in a struggle, to find the right way to pronounce what he intended to say. I suddenly felt unsafe at this encounter, because it was beyond what I could bare, it was beyond what I had experienced, therefore I could not relate. I sat in a chair of Judgement because I failed to embrace the vulnerability of not being able to control, or predict the situation, and with that came the feeling of being threatened, so I stood on guard.

This man began to speak, forming words that brought with them a powerful declaration of what this world has become. At first I heard only what society would speak; that this man was strange, that his words made no sense, that his scent was defining, that his face was different, that his clothes were an embarrassment, that the scares that lay upon his hands were un-nerving. Fear held me back from seeing the truth.

I began to pray within my heart, in an attempt to distract myself from the chimes of what I have heard countless times from myself, and others in this society. That this man was a label of wreckage, of hopelessness beyond repair.

 Suddenly my ears opened as I heard him shout praises to “The Lord”

Shame washed over me, as I realize this man, is my brother in Christ.  I had been sitting with my back every so slightly turned away, trying to build a barrier between us. In that moment I let my back relax, I turned towards him as he was speaking, and I looked into the face of a courageous man, with bold eyes that pierced through my heart. Though he looked different by his clothing, he was welcoming, and encouraging in his mixed speech, he opened his heart to complete strangers, and I was so willing to slap down his hand, when all he desired was to have someone to hear what his heart had held for years on end. Where rejection and abandonment has followed, he came looking for acceptance and I was so ready to turn my back on my fellow out of fear. No one deserves to be treated in such a way, we are all equal – no matter which road life take us, we all deserve the same amount of love, and respect – for we are all Family.

I see what God has been trying to teach me. And the realization of my arrogance is over whelming.

I woke up this morning, praying to be humbled, to be brought down from my own varying opinions of how the world should be, and God pulled through for me, as he always does.

I was able to look in the eye of a Stranger, and see my Brother.

I was able to see that I was no different than him, if anything, in that moment of my self-righteousness, he should have slapped my hand down…

Its amazing the lessons God teaches, when One is ready to Learn. God gave me a nice big piece of Humble Pie, yes – I am the “New Guy” and I have the entire road ahead to continue learning!

Image

This one defiantly hit the Heart big time.

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Matthew 25: 35-36

For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you clothed me. I was Sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me. “

Matthew 25: 40

And the King will say, “I tell you the Truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to Me!”

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